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fanfics by redeyedokamihuman

Naruto by umbreon011100

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Submitted on
July 16, 2008
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9,407 (1 today)
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1) Ask him why he turns into a girl in the curse marks 2nd state.

2) Tell him he looks like a cockatoo.

3) When he walks by tell you friends to watch out cuz he might hit you with his purse.

4) Show him sasusaku fanart.

5) Show him sasusaku fanfics.

6) Call him duck ass

7) Point out that the Uchiha symbol looks like a ping-pong paddle.

8) Call him the queen of tomatoes.

9) Ask him why he wears lipstick and when he says he doesn’t, refer to the 2nd stage of the curse mark.

10) Send him to a psychiatrist cuz he so emo and wears eyeliner.

11) Ask him if hes the ping pong champion and when he asks
      why, say the Uchiha symbol looks like a ping pong paddle.

12) Point out that Orochimaru wants his body.

13) Keep poking him and say “Haha from the back your hair
      looks like a ducks ass.

14) Bring sai over and tell sai to keep asking him if he has a

15) Laugh at him and call him a geisha.

16) When hes sleeping steal all of his clothes and towels.
       Then call him for a mission and leave behind a pink tutu.

17) Ask him why Orochimaru gave him a rapeable outfit

18) Tease his girlfriend then run…

19) Turn his mansion into a Barbie dream house.

20) Show him OroSasu fanfics.

21) Show him OroSasu fanart.

22) Say Itachi’s right behind him.

23) Slap him and say “Oops my bad. Missed the mosquito.”

24) Plan dates for all his fangirls.

25) Give all his fangirls his phone #

26) Tell him Lee could beat him in a modeling contest
      compared to him.

27) Dye his clothes pink.

28) Scream Sasuke’s requesting dates reeeaally loud.

29) Ask him if you can borrow his sharingan contacts and
      where you can buy them.

30) Keep talking about random stuff when your around him and
      never stop.

31) When hes not talking shout “Could you just shut up!
      JEEZ ! You are SO loud!”

32) Ask him why he wasn’t to kill Itachi and keep saying
      why over and over again.

33) When he refuses to a date, yell “Heartbreaker!”

34) Sing “I know something that gets on everybody’s nerves,
      everybody’s nerves, everybodys nerves.”

35) Keep rambling on about how much cooler Rock Lee is.

36) Trip him and start poking him with a stick.

37) Throw popcorn over his head and yell “Its snowing!”

38) Call him duck butt Uchiha.

39) Push him down the stairs and like a slinky, watch what

40) Sell him on e-bay.

41) Throw a bucket of icy water on him when hes sleeping.

42) Kick him in the shins at random moments then run away.

43) Cut his hair while he sleeps.

44) Dye his hair rainbow colors.

45) Scream “You dropped your wallet!” When hes training with

46) Put his hands in warm water when he sleeps.

47) Make a SasuLee pairing.

48) Bring all the fangirls on a tour of his mansion while he takes
      a shower then let them stand in front of the bathroom till he
      comes out.

49) When he’s sleeping put his underwear on the outside of his
      pajama pants, put a bandana on his forehead, put spandex on
      him, and a cape then move his bed outside were everyone
      will notice him.

50) Scream in his ear really loud.

51) Bring Naruto over and tell him to keep saying believe it.

52) When he uses his fireball jutsu yell “FIRE!” then pour
       water on him.

53) Yell at him at random times for no reason. Then when he
       snaps and yells back, you say “Geez. SOMEONES
       PMSing today.” and walk off.

54) Have random mood swings.

55) Throw random objects at his head when hes not looking and
       when he glares at you, point to the cat.

56) When he does something bad, spray him with water and say
      “BAD! BAD SASUKE!”

57) Poke his cheek and continually ask him if hes a happy boy.

58) Have a deep conversation with his ramen. When he
      looks at you strangely, tell him to quit evesdropping.

59) Tell him that Naruto just doesn’t like him like that…..
      maybe Kakashi does.

60) When he’s sleeping superglue his finger up his nose.

61) Tell him Orochimaru got a sex change.

62) Buy him carebears for his birthday.

63) Replace his weapons with paper hearts.

64) Tell him his inner demon is a brightly colored butterfly.

65) Use him as a piñata.

66) Sell him to Orochimaru.

67) Lock him in a room with Orochimaru and Michael Jackson.

68) Sat “OMG!” right when hes about to throw a kunai.

69) Ask him if he’s a virgin then ask why.

70) Keep spraying him with perfume when he leasts expects it.

71) Call him Sauce-Gay.

72) Call him a magical leopluradon.

73) Ask him to guide the way to candy mountain.

74) Make a “200 Ways To Piss Off Sasuke” list.
75) Give it to everyone in town.

76) Attach a magnet of a unicorn onto his head band. See how
      long it takes him to figure out why everyones laughing at

77) Put shaving cream in his shoes.

78) Get some bras and hang them all over his bedroom. Then
      take picture.

79) Put a rotting egg in his pillow case.

80) Point at Sasukes curse mark and say “Whoa that’s from
      Orochimaru isn’t it? I didn’t know you fucked him!”

81) Throw an angry Sakura at him.

82) Cut out individual hole in his santa hat for each spike of hair
       he has in the back.

83) Spill bright colors of ink on all of his shirts.

84) When he’s by himself go up and nudge him then say
       “Going commando eh?”

85) Ask him if he had orochimarus baby.

86) Call him a magical leprechaun.

87) Tell him you’ll sand off his nipples with a belt sander.

88) Tell him your gonna belt sand his face.

89) Go give him 50 bucks and tell him to get a nice, cheap
      plastic surgery.

90) Tell Sasuke hes part horse.

91) Tell everyone that Shaquel O’Neal is his role model.

92) Tell everyone that Sasuke attend naked touching you toes
      classes everyday.

93) Tell everyone he has a pet unicorn.

94) Tell everyone he has a smelly face.

95) Tell him his father was really Mario.

96) Tell everyone he has 3 nipples.

97) Tell everyone he has a pink Speedo.

98) Put a sticker on his but saying “Orochimaru wuz here”.

99) Put a sticker on him saying “Rainbows make me happy”

100) Stick paper bombs all over his back when hes not looking.

101) Tell people he kills innocent puppies for fun.

102) Kick him in the crotch everytime you see him.

103) Call him a tranny.

104) Make him eat leggos.

105) Tell him he’s a fatass.

106) Run him over with an ice cream truck.

107) Steal his headband and replace it wit a pwetty pink one.

108) Tell him you know hes spiderman.

109) Throw horseshoes at him.

110) Sign him up for irl scouts and don’t tell him till its too late
        to quit.

111) Tell him you know Orochimaru is his mom.

112) Tell him hes to late cuz Naruto already killed Itachi.

113) Tell him hes really Mexican.

114) Put a tracker on his ankle so now his fangirls always
        know where he is.

115) Tell him his destiny is to become a male prostitute.

116) Shock him with static electricity and say “I can do chidori

117) Tell him hes a man in a girls body.

118) Give Sasuke kakashi’s make out paradies books and tell
        him to go study.

119) Tell everyone hes plastic man.

120) Tell him he has the throwing skills of a potato.

121) Lock him in an all girls collage.

123) Buy him bunny pajamas.

124) Sign him up for ballet lessons.

125) Handcuff him to Naruto.

126) Handcuff him to sakura and ino.

127) Tell him knock knock jokes about camels. In French.

128) Get him counseling with Dr. Phil.

129) Lock him in a room with a peppy girl.

130) Insist he’s on crack.

131) Star intensely with a huge smile on at him without blinking.

132) Hit him upside the head for no reason.

133) Hit him repeatedly with a golf club.

134) Smack him with a ruler.

135) Hang him upside backwards.

136) Throw a chair at his face.

137) Move his bed with him in it to Mexico.

138) Give him a certificate saying his name has been officially
        changed to Gertrude.

139) Give him short shorts for his birthday.

140) Show him a picture of Granny Chiyo and say “Meet your
        future husband.”

141) Tell him he has 27 children he never knew about.

142) Follow him around with a boombox playing Barbie Girl.

143) Stab him with a spork.

144) Tell him Casey left him for a trucker.

145) Tell him you know he secretly did it with lee.

146) Tell him Casey no longer likes him and hes stuck with the

147) Tell him you know he secretly did it with Choji.

148) Push him off a cliff.

149) Tie weights to his ankle and push him into a toxic lake.

150) Stuff wedding cake in his face.

151) Buy him condoms for his birthday and tell him to go
        find a guy.

152) Buy him a signed naked poster of Guy.

153) Buy him a hooker for every Christmas and birthday.

154) When hes not looking replace his food with catfood.

155)Give him a prostitute for every day of hannahaka.

156) Staple his face.

157) Tickle him to death.

158) Tell everyone that he made out with Eric.

159) Step on his stomach.

160) Tell everyone he lives with 3 hobos.

161) Punch him in the nose.

162) Kick him so hard he wont be able to have children.

163) Buy a Sasuke eating cougar wolf.

164) Make him sing the oscar myer song.

165) Make him eat a bee.

166) Call him judy attitudy when he has an attitude.

167) Call him a cutie pituty.

168) Call his house and ask for Dantes Pizza. When he says that
       you have the wrong number, yell into the phone “Then why
       the hell did you call me??!!!”

169)  Superglue a plastic elephant trunk to his nose.

170) Superglue a naked Sasuke to sakuras ceiling.

171) Tie him to a chair and pour a bucket of ice down his pants.

172) Use him as a football.

173) Tell everyone he has no balls.

174) Say he made out with barbosa.(frompiratesoftheCaribbean)

175) Put him in a dark room with Choji, ino, sakura, sai, sai,
        Jiraiya, tenten, and Kakashi.

176) Superglue two corks up his nose.

177) Stare at the table intensely. When he asks what your doing,
        tell him your trying to set the table on fire.

178) Give him the wrong holy grail and make him drink the
        holy water. (from Indiana Jones)

179) Show him the picture you made of him in Italian.

180) Tell him you know hes georges fanboy.

181) Tell him you know hes secretly dating a vampire teacher.

182) Tell him you know he’s cheating on Casey with a hobo

183) Give him a cologne that attracts sick homeless cats.

184) Give him a cologne that attracts a thousand casey clones.

185) Ask him who hes planning to revive the clan with.

186) Throw him into a basketball hoop.

187) Duck tape him to the hokage mountain.

188) Tell him you Orochimaru is his secret lover.

189) Tell him you know the log is his secret lover.

190) Bite him.

191) Buy him a weave.

192) Put crabs down his pants.

193) Tell everyone he eats babies.

194) Call him a piggy.

195) Light him on fire.

196) Tell him hes on fire.

197) Shoot him with a BB gun.

198) Put a wide load sticker on his back.

199) Put an im pregnant sticker on his back.

200) Tape fireworks and a bunch of exsplosives to his back.

201) Have Sasuke follow Naruto around saying it's a mission, and when Naruto asks why he's being followed jump out and scream "RUN NARUTO RUN! HE'S GONNA RAPE YOU!"

202) Ask him why he got a sex change, since he cant pull off the guy act.

203) Ask if the reason he has so many fangirls is to cover up the fact that he's gay.

204) Then tell him it doesn't work too well.

205) Carry around a jousting stick and turn around everytime Sasuke says something going "WHERE!?" so it hits him.

206) Tell Lee, Sasuke wants a spandex outfit and a bowl cut, so ask Lee to give it to him.

207) Ask "what exactly DID you do with Orochimaru?"

208) Tell him Naruto is pregnant with his child.

209) Tell Sakura that Sasuke said he loved her, then tell the same thing to Ino.

210) Ask if you can eat him and when he says no bite him nayway, then scream, YOU DONT TASTE ANYTHING LIKE CHICKEN!" then slap him and walk off mumbling.
EDIT: and to think we've run out of ideas :iconxmoko-manamix: came up with more! :la: So now it's 210 ways to piss sauke off! WOO!

BEHOLD AND BOW DOWN TO THE ULTIMATE LIST OF PAIN AND TORTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:evillaugh::evillaugh::evillaugh::evillaugh::evillaugh::evillaugh::evillaugh: man it took FOREVER to type this thing up. ok for those people who have qeustions about certain numers, let me canswer them for you.
#'s 18, 144, 146, 182, and 186.
Casey is a friend who lurvs sasuke.

# 158 and 180
george is basically a walking twig with glasses that we like to pick on but hes our friend i guess. Eric is a little whiney thing our age who crys and has hissy fits at lunch.

# 179
i drew this funny picture of sasukes face messed up in italian. i'll see if i can find it and upload it.

for those of you who took there time to read this whole fricken thing i salute you. :salute: You are a true sasuke hater and you get a peice of pie :pie:

Add a Comment:
Applejakyl Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
ha ha ha ha duck butt uchiha
mariekale587 Featured By Owner May 23, 2013
holy crap you have a way better mind of non kill torture than i do well done
TurtallyAwesome Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2013
moonprincess4 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I love 126
UzumakiUchiha101 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Student General Artist
210 ways. Not are fatal. Okay --Grabs clipboard-- Let's do this s**t. XDDDDDDDD
AhnaMaNi Featured By Owner May 11, 2012
i like sasuke, but annoying him would be funny as hell!!! MAN I JUST WANNA FREAKING TRY THESE THINGS!!!
Werewolves1 Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2012  Student Artist
I defiantly approve of this...send sasuke back to hell
Thatguylikesfarts Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
dragondemon21 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Brilliant! Me and a friend read this at school and started cracking up while everyone looked at us like 0.o XD
DarkerHunter24 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
That is funny
Add a Comment: